Fatherhood

Speaker 0 00:00 <inaudible>. Speaker 1 00:20 Well we, we just talked a few sermons ago about, about the whole notion of being sent, sent out. And here we have in today's Gospel the Great Commission where our Lord says, disciples, all powerful power in heaven. Earth has been given me. Go there four. So he's sending them out and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the father and of the son and Holy Spirit, teaching them, observe all that I've commanded you. And behold, I am with you all days, even under the consummation of the world. Cc, this whole notion of being sent apostle as a means, one that sent with a commission and he see sends him to all nations to teach them all that he's all truths for whole days, even to the end of the world. All nations, all truths, all time. That's universal. The Universal Church and the Greek word for universal. Of course we've made it. English is Catholic. So we see our Lord sending out the Catholic Church into the world. Speaker 1 01:18 Given that it's father's day to day, we'll take a look at fatherhood, do that. We'll live principally on these two books. One's called legacy, a father's handbook for raising godly children. It's by Steve Wood, that one's called father the family protectors by James Stinson, a legacy by Steve Wood and father family protector by James Stinson. I don't get a commission for this, uh, what I have to say. They're really good books for some time now I've been asking the guys I prepare for marriage to read the book by Steve Wood Legacy and uh, I'm gonna Start doing that with James Stinson's book as well. They're just a bold chockfull of practical advice written good old common sense. But unfortunately in our day and age, there's common sense is pretty darn uncommon, uh, for someone that grew up in a family with the audit father, which is certainly on no fault to your own, it gives you a pretty clear idea of what ought to be going on. Speaker 1 02:12 And even guys that grew up in families, that's really great, fathers are still gonna come away with some things to think about in a few more tools in their toolbox. And so the, the in a book's come at it from different angles. UH, Steve Wood's book is more explicitly Catholic and, and uh, theological and steps in, although he's a Catholic, it's more, it's more generally generally written, but they're just both good books. Okay. So for the most part, uh, for most of the sermon, I'll just draw a few excerpts from these books. And so it's going to be kind of a postage stamp collection. Little this and the level of that. And I'll edit and cut and paste. Like always do Speaker 1 02:50 roll the father, Steve Wood, earthly fatherhood is connected to divine fatherhood. God is the father. The father is the one who makes fatherhood is so important in children's lives. In Ephesians three, Saint Paul said that earthly fathered derives its very name from God. The father. Every child that God sends in the world comes with an intense builtin yearning for a union with God. The father, all of us adults and children are hardwired for this union with our heavenly father. We're all moved in the deepest part of ourselves to find him. Some of us go on detours like the excessive pursuit of money or pleasures or addictions and attempt to find this fulfillment, but we're all driven by it in the divine plan. A dad is a vital link in the process of a child. Find a sacred relationship with God. Every dad, for better or worse, is like a living icon of God. Speaker 1 03:51 The father for his children, especially in early childhood, a father's Day, life from the family or absence from the family forms an image of God the father in his children. It's truly an awesome responsibility for dads. You don't have to be a perfect father in order to be a good Christian Dad. There's only one perfect father and he's in heaven. Your job is to make an earnest effort to project a decent image of God's fatherhood to your children with a constant realization that despite your greatest intentions, your efforts will fall short. That's okay because God's gracious plan includes using your imperfect fatherhood to reflect his image to your kids. The key to Christian fatherhood has gained a vision of the faith running through the generations of your family. Dads, he must crass the truth that creating a legacy of faith through the training and discipline of your children is a real man's job. Speaker 1 04:47 In fact, it's your job. In fact, it's your most important responsibility on earth because whatever you do or fail to do as a father will have effects for generations and even for eternity. Practice your faith. Remain in a state of grace. Love your wife and stay married. Be a good provider and Thai. Spend lots of time with your children. That's how to be a good Christian man, husband and dad in a single sentence, not too complicated. There's no escape in the reality that successful fatherhood is directly dependent upon simply being present and available for your kids. For children. Love from their fathers is spelled t. I. M. E. It spinning adequate time with their children as a stumbling block for many dads. Thus, Steve would want to make some paratactic remarks in this regard. A coloring, two analysis done by the Pew Research Center in 2011 fathers averaged in these United States average 7.3 hours per week with their children in November of last year. Nickelodeon. No, that's the so-called children's television network. Nickelodeon presented advertises with its latest research. The network found the children's television view, and you had seen a 12% increase over the past nine years and had grown by over two hours since they're 2009 survey in addition to more time with a tablet or other device. In addition to that, on the average children born after 2005 beautiful 35 hours of television a week. Speaker 1 06:35 Think about that. On the average children born after 2005 beautiful, 35 hours of television a week, not counting the time they spent on tablets or other electronic devices, and yet father's average in these United States, 7.3 hours a week with their children. In other words, the children are spending five times more time per week with a television on the average than with their dads. So who's raising the kids in a family that meets this profile at whatever age the kids starts watching TV. It will only take three years in nine months of television viewing for that, Sheldon, spend as much time with the television as you will ever spend with his dad when he lives at home, assuming he leaves when he's 18 who's raising the children? Let's pause for a moment to reflect briefly on one important role the father plays, or at least is supposed to play in the lives of his daughters and his sons. Here. I want to give credit to the insights of Jonathan Doyle ladies first as a result of original sin, except in your course or lady. A girl is born with this sort of fundamental feminine insecurity that phenom insecurity is expressed by those questions that run through a girl's heart and my beautiful will I be chosen, obey left alone. Speaker 1 08:21 She needs to have those questions answered. She needs to have those question answers. She needs to have those questions answered by a man that's just basic feminine Psychology One oh one and that's your job. Dads from the earliest years. Your daughters need that attention, that hug, that reassuring comment, and I'll just look at you, aren't you pretty today they need to be told they're beautiful and they need to hear that from their dads and not just on their birthday. The girl needs us questions. Am I beautiful? Will I be chosen? Will I be left alone, answered by a man and the man she needs to hear it from is first and foremost her father. The antidote for the fundamental feminine insecurity is a loving attention they get from their dad. That's the anecdote I'm going to tell you what dads, if you don't answer those questions for your daughter, Speaker 0 09:24 another guy will guarantee Speaker 1 09:30 if you don't answer him for or another guy, well, it's getting answered all the time and not in the right way and not the right place Speaker 0 09:38 and not at the right time. Go stand in front of abortion now. Speaker 1 09:47 You better answer those questions in the hearts of your daughters. Very recent, beautiful essay by a woman whose fathers die. This is all this way better than I ever could. A just listen to what she has to say. Cool. As a young child, my father often told me that I was beautiful despite the twists and turns that have come about. As I've grown older in relationships, schooling, and jobs, I have always been protected to a certain extent by a sense of self worth. When I tried to put my finger on all the things my father's given me over the years, I realized that his wisdom and love had been woven into the fabric of who I am. Perhaps it is hard to pinpoint one specific thing, but I know from experience that is gentle reminder of my beauty has been one of the greatest gifts. His love as a quiet, steady voice against the clamor of a world constantly telling me that I should look or act differently. It helps me except myself. Speaker 0 11:01 Close quote, Speaker 1 11:04 Daddy, you better answer those questions in the hearts of your daughters. Okay. What about the boys? Well, that's a lot different. It's actually more complicated. It's one place where the guys are quite a bit more complicated than girls, which is unusual. The fundamental male insecurity as a result of original sin is rooted in the reality that unlike the case for girls will just naturally become a woman over the course of time. Unlike the case for girls, manhood is something different. A boy doesn't just become a man. Madison. Manhood is something earned. Man is something bestowed. Speaker 1 11:49 It's bestowed by the other men. That's the funnel. Moon men are reasonable traditional cultures. We're in healthy cultures. Their manhood rights of some type. The boys are led in a transition from youth to manhood by their elders, by the men. The questions inside a boy's heart, 10 revolve around what exactly it means to be a man. How does he know he's become a man? Guys have questions about strength and toughness and manhood. Now, that's a big topic and there's just no way we can do justice to it in a sermon, but I'm just going to give some a few points. One thing's for sure, dads, when you're raising your sons, if you don't answer the questions about what it means to be and become a man for your sons, then our society will. Speaker 1 12:38 Our society is going to answer those questions and answer the side. It gives here in Texas is no different than the answer they give up in Montana or Kansas for that matter or even Australia. Same answer, just different accents. That's all. Generally speaking to answer is there are two things a guy must do to become a man. Two things, if I pause for a moment, y'all probably can think of them first. To be a real man, the guy has to do crazy rowdy things get drunk or the equivalent thereof. It's number one second, he has to lose his virginity, get rowdy and loses virginity. Look at the mass media. Well, no, don't look at the mass media, but you know what I mean? Speaker 1 13:30 That's the message of this society. Rowdiness and loss of virginity or the general cultures. Answer is what it takes to be a real man, which just shows how far off the tracks we've gotten, not only of both these mortally sinful, not only both these behaviors offend God and wreak havoc on a society. Now he's type of stupidity. Absolutely guarantee the destruction of every girls who lines up in the sights of one of these guys. Just her life is going to, is taken out with this same kind of behavior. The most ironic part of all this is rowdiness and the loss of virginity have absolutely nothing to do with manliness at all. They don't have anything to do with men unless they're both unbelievably immature ways of behaving, not manly ways of behaving it. That's pretty much the standard answer this toxic society has to offer on what it means to become a man. Speaker 1 14:30 Dads need to be talking to your boys about what it means to be a man. You need to be modeling for them. Manhood, true manhood. You need to be talking about character. He need to be talking about honor. He need to be talk about integrity. You talk about getting your duty done, talking about those ideas with your sons and when your sons get to an age, you don't necessarily have to climb some high mountain or run around and kill the wild pig with a spear or something like that. Although I'm not against it. Um, but you need to come up with some sort of event or trip or some sort of transitional thing at the end of which there is a transition when he starts to have more responsibility and more freedom because he has more responsibility and you have higher expectations of him and he gets treated in a little different way because you're trying to segway him into adulthood. It's pretty easy to raise boys that leave his boys. You're trying to raise men in the crisis in the church and the crisis in society is a crisis of manhood. Speaker 1 15:33 No. As we said, this is a big topic. There's no way to do it justice in a sermon. There's books, there's movies. Even any thoughtful dad can can think about these movies and the transition from boyhood demanded is I'm standing here, I think the man from snowy river, that would be a, a typical one. Now any dad could use those kind of sort of resource to launch a discussion to teach lessons after he's read them or watched him and thought his way through what he sees. But the bottom line is dads, when you raise your sons, if you don't satisfactory answer those questions about what it means to be a man and how you become a man. If you're not answering that for your sons, then the society will, and it is and it is, and it's a lot better at answering that question than most fathers are. I hate to say, and the answer is really wrong, Speaker 1 16:26 Steve Wood fathers had a simple yet challenging task of modeling their own lives, what they want to see reproduced in lives, their children. They also have the SOM responsibility of being a type of living icon of the heavenly father for their children. Saint John Paul two spoke with this saying that the heart of father had consists in revealing and were living on earth the very fatherhood of God. Imitation is the way Jesus successfully trained his disciples without ever take them inside a classroom. Invitation is still the fundamental way to train Christian disciples. As Christians, we are to be imitators of God. We're to be merciful because God is Merciful. Where do we holy? Because God is holy. We are to be kind of forgiving because this is what God is like. The important question for fathers is then how do I teach my children to imitate a God they cannot see? Speaker 1 17:24 Fathers are to be an image of the heavenly father for their children. Fathers are live in such a way that their children can imitate their lives and grow in the likeness of God. Therefore, the most important thing needing change in the process of chain of training children is not the kids, but the dad. Children will imitate the godly transformation of their fathers. A wise father will seek to maximize the power of imitation his children. It's a major reason why time priorities are so important. You need to be with your children in order for them to imitate you. The more you're separated from your children, the greater the vacuum left by your absence. Your children will continue imitating in your absence. The only question is who are they going to imitate? The time you spend with your children will determine whether they imitate your morals and your beliefs or someone else's. Speaker 1 18:25 There's no escaping the reality. The successful father is directly dependent on simply being present and available to your kids. The more you're separated from the children, the greater the vacuum left by your absence. Your children will continue imitating in your absence. The only question is who will they be imitating will be the saints will be these clowns and reprobates and the mass media. Who's raising your kids? Let's shift gears. James Stinson, any normal man with a measure of common sense and a capacity for sacrifice can raise his children, right? I've seen it done again and again. Successful fathers that have known seemed to understand what a father is and does. They have an understanding of how fathers main role is to protect his wife and children from harm. Not only now but also later in life. That's what he's there for. After God, the man puts his wife first and its priorities. Speaker 1 19:32 Her happiness and welfare are uppermost and his children know this. They know it because he leads them by his own example to love, honor and cooperate with their mother. If they ever fail to do this, they answer to him for it. That's more than half the secret of effective fatherhood. Here's a spirit of lively cooperation with his wife. He sees her as his partner in a collective team enterprise. Together they work as much as possible to present a United front to the children. They draw on each other's strengths and in different but complimentary ways. They support each other. A great father works with his wife to maintain a longterm vision 20 years ahead about the children's growth and character. No matter what they do later for a living, he knows that kids cannot start acquiring character overnight. That would children learn in childhood will powerfully sway how well or how badly they behave as teens and young adults. Speaker 1 20:32 He has to teach him that responsible grown up life is not self centered play, but mostly service to others. Both spouses pitch of their children has grown up. Men and women, adults with virtue, conscience, generosity, competence, responsibility, self-mastery, this distant but clear, ideal pharmas that forms the basis for teaching, practice and correction. Now. So the parents have a picture of the kind of adults that are expecting each one of these child children to be, they're assessed and their children. And based on that picture, they're looking where they were weak in the virtues. Will we need to work on this? We need work. That's what it is. You have a longterm view. So you're moving in a direction trying to direct that child in in the ways of virtue. In other words, a smart father realized he must work real change in lies of his children. Kids do not come into the world with strong character. So if a man, a woman neglect this task and effect, no change, the kids grow older without ever growing up. If parents neglect this task, the kids grow older without ever growing up in boy. Howdy, is that what we got going on? Now the cops are doing land office business cause we have all these children of every age Romy about wreaking havoc everywhere. They've grown older, but they haven't grown up. Speaker 1 21:58 They emergent adult life with the false witnesses of childhood. They remain spoiled, weak-willed, impulsive, self centered, irresponsible, and had calamity in their careers and marriages. Just look around at our society. Father sees all his sacrificial efforts, the rigorous work of fatherhood as an investment, not very vexing hassle. He's investing most of all in the stability and happiness of his children's future life and especially their eternity, not only their careers. He senses that parents who fail with their kids seem to fall into two extremes there, ear, the irresponsibly permissive, or to radically domineering. In other words, they're either wimps or they're control freaks. Both extremes are basically self centered and do serious lasting damage to the children. Kids with such parents tend to either grow up as immature narcissists or as rebels and sneaks less loving. Self sacrificing father does not fond extremes. He will not neglect because finally duty to lead, nor will he impose more control than his children need. Speaker 1 23:10 Here's specks his children's freedom without being permissive and he works to strengthen his kids, but not to dominate them. He puts his children's welfare ahead of his comfort and his ego. He corrects his children's faults, but not them personally. He combines correction, punishment with affectionate forgiveness, understanding and encouragement. He's neither weakness or harsh, but rather affectionately assertive. He loves his children too much. Let them grow up with their childhood faults still intact when you must correct anyone in the family. He does this personally and privately whenever possible. He is never afraid of being temporarily unpopular with his children. Their longterm unhappiness is more important to him than their presence, sulking and bruised feelings from his correction. He's confident that the resentment was soon pass and some day we'll understand and thank him for the love behind his correction. He encourages his children showing, explaining how to do things right and how to do the right thing. Speaker 1 24:16 He directs rather than micro manages and makes praise is specific as blame. He's conscious of his authority, which is his weight, his responsibility. He does not permit electronic entertainment to undermine that authority or undo his lessons of right and wrong. He keeps the media under discriminating control, allowing only what serves to bring the family together. A father has only a short time, a tiny window of opportunity to shape his kids' conscience and character for life. So his job is not only important, it's absolutely urgent. Every smart father knows that he has one chance and only one to raise his children, right? Speaker 0 25:00 Okay. Speaker 1 25:01 A father has only a short time, a tiny window of opportunity to shape his kids' conscience and character for life. Sue's job is not only important, it's absolutely urgent. A father has one chance, one chance only to raise his children right today. Let us pray for fathers that they realized awesome dignity to wish they'd been called and that they act accordingly. Speaker 0 25:36 <inaudible>.