Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:01 Today on the feast of the holy family. Let's start by quickly considering the current state of American family. If anybody's interested in the numbers. I gave a lot of statistics in the first conference, the mission last year anyway, what's the current situation? Whether they, in our our beloved country forest rates are skyrocketing, two parent family stable. One is collapsing, shacking up. It's becoming the norm. Over a third of all children are born out of wedlock. At the same time, the birth rates are declining. There's a virtually complete collapse of sexual morality dramas, unbelievable numbers of men and women who've been surgically sterilized and the use of contraception is virtually universal. I mean, you can just look at the medical community too. I've tried to find a doctor or a pharmacist who isn't involved in any way with contraceptive according to planned parenthood's own statistics. 95% of the 1.3 million abortion a year are really active birth control and that's from hostile witnesses.
Speaker 0 01:14 Virginity among teenagers is becoming rarer and rarer. Porn is absolutely through the roof is our perverted behaviors and now we have the vision of the state. Beginning to use force to promote perversions first behaviors in the school, perverse behaviors vis-a-vis adoption. And with regard to these new so-called forms of marriage, which we haven't seen, decriminalized the so called legal since the times of Emperor Nero. As far as I know, Emperor Nero's, the last one that had these kinds of marriages, he was involved in three of them. As grim as all this is, the moral catastrophe is only gonna accelerate and accelerate exponentially here very quick with all the federal force necessary as the new regime begins to impose, its so called change. Just think of flames from very hot place with chain, you know, dancing around change and you get the idea. So what are all these people thinking about?
Speaker 1 02:12 Okay,
Speaker 0 02:13 why do they think we're here? Why do they think we're here? That's a rhetorical question. They don't know. Most of them don't know why we're here. They don't know. But we'd better know why we're here. So why are we here? God is not placed man in this world to become rich or become famous or the party indulge himself with every pleasure that comes his way. God has placed distance world for one thing and for one thing only. That's to glorify him by this means to save our immortal soul. We each only have one we have but one eternity.
Speaker 1 03:03 Okay,
Speaker 0 03:03 one soul. I want eternity for any other. There's a remedy,
Speaker 1 03:11 okay
Speaker 0 03:11 for any other or there's a remedy, but if we lose our immortal soul, it's forever.
Speaker 1 03:18 Okay?
Speaker 0 03:19 It's lost forever. Once we see that, we can see that the current state of our beloved country gives every possible indication, the barring actual miracles, massive numbers of our fellow citizens seemed destined to spend eternity in hell. They're lost. They're lost sheep. The last sheet, there's the good shepherd right there and they don't know it. There's the good shepherd. He's alive. He's right there. He's got the answer. He's got the right answer. He's got the only answer,
Speaker 1 04:08 they don't know it.
Speaker 0 04:11 So let's leave behind this current disaster and spend a moment considering his answer. The right answer. This regard. Father Gerard Kelly s j as a brief summary, well worth pondering quote in the Christian dispensation, the family is a little church. That means that it's aim family. Is this salvation and sanctification of the members of the family. Close quote in the Christian dispensation of families, little church, and that means that its aim is the salvation and the sanctification of all the members of the family. You don't need me to point out to you that that is hardly the current understanding of the Christian family. Even in our Catholic circles. See, the Catholic family is meant to be a living miniature representation of the mystery of Christ in his church. How's that father? Well, the head of the household, so husband who represents Christ, the head and the mystical body.
Speaker 0 05:22 The wife represents the church, the spotless bride of Christ, and the children represent the faithful just as Christ our head and heaven and his church here on earth are United by the Holy Spirit in the worship of God, the father. So also the Catholic family unit is intended by Christ to be United with him in the Holy Spirit and by and through an in this living union, the Catholic family is meant to give worship to God the father. And we should think of that every time you hear the priest Sig per dominant, most amazing Christian for them to them, we take them vividly, right not to be tidy. Spirit to Santi, DDOS per omnia circular cycle arm. Amen to our Lord Jesus Christ. Your son, who with you lives reigns in the unity of the Holy Spirit. One God forever and ever. Amen. We're meant to be United in the Holy Spirit with Christ, to offer worship to God the father, each Catholic family.
Speaker 0 06:31 Okay, so the husband stands for Christ. The wife stands for the church children's stand for the faithful. There's one very remarkable feature of a Christian marriage that we each should burn into our minds. We've mentioned it before, but a lot of people don't seem to realize this, and that's the reality that the ministers of this particular sacrament are not priests. The ministers of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony are actually the individual partners in the marriage contract. The man and the wife are actually the ministers of the SAC and a marriage. Okay, great. So what father, think about what this means. The minister of a sacrament is a channel of sanctifying grace to the soul to whom he administers the sacrament. The Ministry of a sacrament is a channel of supernatural life, of sanctifying grace to the soul, to whom he ministers a sacrament. So what we're saying, we're saying that it is sacramental marriage. The man and the wife are individual channels of grace to each other in their relationship, and that doesn't end at the wedding. It begins at the wedding. As someone once pointed out, this means that at the physical level, they're first wedding gift to each others, the gift of each to the other and at the spiritual level, their first wedding gift each other is sanctifying grace. Supernatural life. God has given them each an absolutely incredible supernatural power. The power to actually give supernatural life to their partner.
Speaker 0 08:17 It's extraordinary. In other words, in every Sacramento marriage, the husband can honestly say that his wife is a means by which he returns to God in every Sacramento marriage. The wife can honestly say that her husband is a means by which she returns to God. A sacramental marriage is a mutual assistance packed between a man and a woman to help each other. They get to know and love and serve God in this life and to be happy with him forever. In the next, we could see a lot more far, far more about Christian marriage, but it's more than enough to give us some notion of the unbelievable difference between the insane no sooner of marriage and family life propose to us on the one hand by this pagan culture of death, what you will all find ourselves in Merced, that these relationships are some sort of fluid, flexible man made arrangements largely concerned with convenient access to someone else's body.
Speaker 0 09:23 Now on the other hand, the authentic notion of marriage and family is taught by Christ himself and demonstrated by the holy family that it's a god given means of helping souls grow in holiness and attain salvation. So it's a means of grace to state of holiness, to vocation, to vocation. Now with all that, by way of an introduction, I want to turn most particularly to the young people and speaking of young people tell you some of the things about the vocation of marriage that I surely wish the priests would have told. The generations that came of age in the 60s seventies and 80s and 90s is only gonna be a brief overview. Any one of the particular points who could preach a whole sermon on, I won't do that to you, to just a brief over you. According to Saint John Bosco, only about a third of you have a vocation to the priesthood or the religious life.
Speaker 0 10:26 That means most of you have vocational marriage and it is a vocation, a call to holiness given to you by God. And we want to remember released. Never forget that holy families don't just happen. Holy families don't just happen. If we want to know what just happens, look around outside. That's what just happens. The culture, death is what just happens. Holy found. These don't just happen to vocation. So the first point, we must take care to be certain of our vocation. In this case to marriage, and this regards, Saint Alphonsus says, quote, he airs his vocation, exposing himself to greater danger than if he broke a commandment for feat violates a particular commandment. He may rise again from his fall and begin again to walk in the right path, but he wears his vocation mistakes the way itself. Hence the longer he travels in it, the more distant he is from home to him. We may justly apply the words of Saint Augusta. You run well, but on the wrong road, it is necessary to be persuaded of the truth of what Saint Gregory the great says that our eternal salvation depends principally on brace in the state to which God has called us. Close quote, Saint Alphonsus Bishop and Dr the church.
Speaker 0 11:53 Our eternal salvation depends principally upon embracing the state to which God has called us. Okay, so how are we supposed to know that vocation in the first place? We need to pray if our turn of salvation depends principally upon embracing the state to which God calls us, then we better start asking God in prayer what he has in mind. Everyone you young people that is not yet sure of as vocation needs to pray to find this out. That's why if you notice about every two or three weeks and the bolt and we have that prayer for a vocation and know your vocation in life, and we also have another prayer that you should pray, which is a prayer for a good wife, her husband, and he should pray that every day unless it becomes abundantly clear to you that you have a vocation of the priesthood or religious life.
Speaker 0 12:40 Okay, we've got to start with prayer and don't worry if you have a vocation of the priesthood or religious life, it won't pull up your face. I, my dad gave me that prayer for Goodwife. I prayed it for years here. I'm a priest. It won't hurt, but you want to know what your vocation is. You keep praying and you pray up, okay? Now then suppose you discover you have a vocation of marriage at the very minute you realize that you need to start praying more, particularly for your future spouse. That'd be pure. It'd be a godly man. She'll be a modeled wife and a mother, et Cetera, African faster. Ask Your parents for specific recommendations. Okay, we need to pray for them. That applies to all vocations. I was praying for you all for seven years before I met any of you. Anyway, so prayer comes first and along with that you have to work on your growth and virtue and overcoming your principal fault.
Speaker 0 13:28 So forth. We talked about that a lot. We're not going to say anything about that here except that if you're lazy Concord or forget about getting married, you either get over laziness or forget about marriage, period. Vocations or work and marriage certainly is now comes preparation for your vocation. By preparation, we don't mean region a magic age like 21 or some nonsense like that. We made intelligent planning and training and preparing yourself. Priests, the priest spent years and years preparing to do what we do, so you're not going to get any pity from us here. Any vocation is a lot of work and we need to prepare ourselves. Holy families don't just happen. And in marriage you have a division of labor. So it's only prudent to start thinking about that. The kind of things, these are just examples, but the kind of things you can start working on now, every young woman should know how to cook and to, so in a can and to live frugally.
Speaker 0 14:24 Every young man should know how to live frugally. Two common household repairs be handy. Uh, you know, grow a garden and he should know how to cook. We'll have lived through some guys that bullying a cup of coffee would be a real, real challenge. What if your wife and kids get sick? What are you going to do then? Huh? You got to know how to cook. I mean just we got into to start thinking about it. Opening a can of beans isn't going to cut it. Okay. You got to think young men too right now about how you're going to for family. It's not just something like, oh good, I want a wife. I've got a vocation. No, that means I got to start thinking how am I going to get out in front of this? And you start when you're young, don't it does says an happen.
Speaker 0 15:03 Talk to your dad. Talk to other menus, Spec men, your community, relatives, and so forth. Start making plans now. Don't just drift along hoping something happens. Start making plans. Holy families don't just happen in this economy. You better be on the hustle on because we're competing with everybody in terms of higher education. Don't wreck up piles and piles of debt. If you've got your own oil wells, no biggie, but for all the rest of us down here on earth, don't rack up tons of debt, especially young ladies. It's hard enough for a young husband to make a living in this disaster of ECON. We thought having a huge college debt, which unfortunately may cause you to work outside the home or become a near occasion of contraception. There are strategies for cutting education without racking up tons of college debt. If if you don't know any of them, give us a call.
Speaker 0 15:51 We can help you on that, but don't pile up a bunch of debt. It certainly imprudent another important preliminary as you approach the point at which you can court, and we'll talk about that in a sec. Make a short list of seven to 10 qualities that your future spas must have and seven to 10 qualities that your future spouse must not have. The example on a must have list. A young woman might write things like, my future husband must be a firm believer in homeschooling. You must have an income sufficient enough to allow me to be a stay at home mom, etc. You know, okay, these lists need thought and prayer. Holy families don't just happen. They're important. So you have some idea of what you're looking for in a spouse, not to sort of, oh, and you're swooning. You know, you want to have concrete ideas.
Speaker 0 16:36 This is a serious vocation. All right? When you're younger, pray that God gives you the light to make these lists of coordinators will. When the time comes and you get older. When you approached the edgy court ship, then start working on the write them down. Refine them. Then you have a picture of what you're looking for and if you're doing it in prayer with serious prayer and thinking about it, you're going to have a good picture. It's not going to be random. You can have an idea. Okay, last preliminary, we've talked about it before, but we need to review this. Remember, this is the teaching the church. Now I don't make this stuff up. I haven't. Sales, not management. Keeping company with intention of timely marriage is a necessary near occasion of sin. Keeping company with intention of a timely marriage is a necessary near occasion as sin.
Speaker 0 17:27 It's necessary because in our society we don't have arranged marriages. There's nothing wrong with arranged marriages, but it's necessary. Since that's not the our custom here. Okay? It's a near occasion of sin because guys like girls and girls like guys and we're weak. Thanks Adam. But that's just the way it is. So given that it is a near occasion of sin, no one, and if you're wondering what I mean when I say no one in this case, no one means no one, no one has the right to keep company unless they're ready, willing and able to be married in a timely fashion. I will expand on that point of what ready, willing, able means. We'll get to that in a sec, but what does this mean when we say company keeping with intention of Italian marriage is a necessary near occasion of sin. This means that recreational dating is not allowed.
Speaker 0 18:22 Period. Close the book. This is not some recreational activity. Company keeping is ordered towards a vocation. It's ordered towards timely marriage. It's ordered towards a state of holiness, and that is all you don't expect your priest to go to seven or eight and then be out drinking beers and acting like clowns. What the heck are you doing if you're dating, it's absolutely completely categorically off limits for the young men. What does it mean to be ready, willing, and able to be married? It means you have to be old enough to be married. We're not speaking simply chronologically here. There are some guys that are never old enough to be married. We're speaking not just about age, but about maturity. Okay? So you have to be old enough and you have to be able to put a roof over her head and food on the table before it's morally permissible for you to court a girl.
Speaker 0 19:13 You better be really close to it. I mean, you could be proximate to it. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're finishing up some kind of technical school or whatever. Okay, fine, but not on the front end. On the backhand. All right? Now what kind of rough and what kind of food, what she can put up with. It doesn't have to be real up, Tom. That's not the point. But you have to be able to put a roof over her head and food on the table. You gotta be of an age or you have no business wasting that girl's time. Get with the program, grow up, spit out your thumb, get to get gone, and then you can go after the girl. Okay. Young women to be ready, willing, and able to be married means you're old enough to be married again, both in terms of age and maturity.
Speaker 0 19:53 Okay, so you've been preparing yourself. You make it to the preliminaries. Now you have to meet someone. The prayers even been seeing over the years. Free Future. Husband and wife are very important for success at this point. That's a good reason to start praying. As soon as you know you've asked God to arrange it, but now expects you to do your little part. You notice that the wedding at Cana, he made the water and the wine, he didn't have to start with water. He's God. He made them pack the water. Then he did the miracle. He makes us do our little part. It's important. Remember, we have a part to play in the whole thing. So in this we have to do something. Okay, I'm just gonna make two brief suggestions without going into any detail at all about good places to meet your future spouse.
Speaker 0 20:33 I've got lots of ideas, but these are two, one of the best places to meet a future spouse. A good one. Is that an abortion mill? You heard that, right? One of the very best places to meet a good spouse in an abortion mill. Obviously, I mean not on the sidewalk cause they're out there praying. They're doing sidewalk constantly. Okay? If you spend enough time in front of Bushmills, you're going to come in contact with a whole group of fervent good Catholics. They're active and if you don't meet your spouse in that, they're going to know people. It's a great way to meet good, fervent Catholics that are very serious about their faith. They're so serious. They're not afraid to be out there being abused by those clowns at planned parenthood by the police and everybody else that hates us. Okay. Another good place to meet a great spouse is that the wedding of two fervent Catholics at the reception, you're going to come in contact with a whole bunch of, for of an act of Catholics.
Speaker 0 21:24 Those are just two ideas. Now you've reached the stage of courtship itself. You've met someone, they fit your profile. For the most part. You both think that you might be met to marry each other. What? Now, here's some rules. First rule, he should never be alone together. And in this case, never means never. It's a near occasion as sin. The devil last time I checked isn't going on vacation anytime soon. That ends on Judgment Day. So we gotta be humble and be careful. Remember that holy families don't just happen deaf travel somewhere, traveling separate vehicles or with a chaperone. If you're in one vehicle, if they're available, a little brother, a little sister, make great chaperones, and they'll tell everything if possible. Visiting should take place around each others families is that gives them much more concrete understanding of the person that you're courting. You get a real idea of who they are and where they're from because that really matters.
Speaker 0 22:24 The family matters. So never alone together. Number two, second rule, be very careful with telephone conversation. This is a modern way of being alone together and you've gotta be careful. Uh, the girls fall to their ears. That's where you get this idea of a silver tongue devil or, or, or, uh, uh, the president, the previous president. Uh, you know, they're seducing everybody. Okay? So you should not speak for longer than an hour at a time. You should never speak after 10:00 PM unless it's an actual certifiable emergency. I'm totally serious. Somehow, right about after that hour he started having problems. Okay, you shouldn't, uh, you in. Certainly in the initial stages, you don't need to speak for long periods every day. Of course you want to, but it's courtship. You need to moderate your appetites if you want to be holy, you work at being holy. Okay? Third rule. These are the absolute boundary conditions.
Speaker 0 23:16 This is Pope Alexander the seventh. I don't make this stuff up. Pope Alexander to seventh condemned the idea that it is only a venial sin for the unmarried to kiss for the sensual pleasure rising from the kiss, even if there's no danger of further consent and have going even farther. I'll read that again. It is condemned to say that it is only a venial sin for the to kiss for the central pleasure arising from the kiss, even if there's no danger further consent and of going any farther, it's condemned. And as Saint Alphonsus explains, quote, this means that every time someone was sufficient reflection and full consent of the will, delights in carnal or central pleasure associated with someone to whom he is not married. He commits a mortal sin close quote. And as Saint Alphonsus explained, this applies not to two kisses, but Eddie touches performed for the kind of pleasure.
Speaker 0 24:17 The upshot is that not only is kissing forbidden off limits, okay, you can do that. You know, that sort of like the Russians do each cheek kind of thing. That that's, that's legitimate. Cause that's not a essential case, but, but uh, so that's, it's kissing's forbidden off limits but also sort of the, the romantic hugging and hanging on each other, like pairs of draperies and so forth. Okay. The married couples that I prepared can tell you can ask them. I always suggest you don't hold hands until marriage. It's not a sin. And I don't say that because it is a sin and I don't say it because we're Pruitt's cause we're not, it's not sinful per se, but it's not necessarily prudent. I always say there's some kind of little electricity there, isn't there? And they both going. I said, yeah cause once you start on that thing, you're trying to get to know each other as dispassionately as possible.
Speaker 0 25:01 So you see everything really clear up front. You're trying to get to know this person very, very clearly before you get to the altar and any of this stuff getting spun up. And this is not sinful passion here is just that much more that you're trying to see through. You know, you're getting smoke and you're trying to see in a clear room, but you keep throwing more smoke on. Don't do it. Don't do it long. A bitter experience at the ages shows the danger here. Okay. All right. Anyway, the idea is, oh yeah, you gotta be careful about the lot long loving looks in each other's eyes and they write about this and moral theology books in the old days, believe it or not. I'm not saying you can't look at each other and you have to walk around stumbling on your toes, but you got to be careful, Huh? We've gotta be careful about touches. Looks and so forth. The idea is if you do indeed go to the altar together, this is the idea you'll do so without ever having offended God or harm each other in this manner. And if you don't end up going to all through, well again you'll park without ever having a fan of God or having harmed each other.
Speaker 0 26:00 Questioning charity, questioning Prunes, holy families don't just happen. You got to work at it. We had to work at being priests. You got to work at being holy. Fourth rule. Make an appointment with a priest to come in and discuss the situation. Tank concept. We're here to help see your eternal happiness and minor tangled up together. We're not trying to get in your way. We're trying to make sure that you get there. See, cause I have a vested interest. You guys are sort of like my ticket to heaven. You get there, I get there. So I have a very best interested and trying to help you get there. So it's not like we're laying awake at night trying to figure out how to Hacia. We're trying to get you there and then we get there too, Huh? So we get in the door. Fifth rule, you should write down your courtship rules and conditions.
Speaker 0 26:42 Hold each other accountable and each of you should ask good friend to help you keep accountable as well. Now it'd be something discussed the priest and have them look them over. I don't make the rules up, I'm not going to do that, but I can tell ya that's maybe not a good one or you know, get rid of that one or whatever, but modify it. That's where we make the big bucks. Okay? Six rule. Within a few weeks of a court ship, you should know whether this relationship should continue or not. If not, end it immediately. Marriage is a call to holiness. If it becomes apparent that this is not a morally helpful relationship, ended immediately. Ask Yourself, will marriage to this person helped me to avoid sin and save and sanctify my soul? That's an important question. Ask Yourself, can I realistically see myself spending my life helping this person become holy and save his soul?
Speaker 0 27:37 That's an important question. Ask Yourself, can I see myself being best friends with this person for the rest of my life? That's an important question. If you can't say yes, those questions and the courtship immediately, there's no harm. If you've been following these rules, it's not going to be this big emotional disaster like the SAR. If you haven't crawled any fences, you can break up friendly and it's not going to be painful. Okay? Holy family's don't just happen. We'll make a comparison. It might be useful right now to make a site comparison between the vocation of marriage and the vocation to priesthood or religious life. Okay. Saint Alphonsus, according to Saint Alphonsus, a man should stay in the world rather than go to a lax monastery or congregation or almost any diocese and these a dice and bishop, by the way, and he's writing a long time ago.
Speaker 0 28:32 Why? Because if he goes too crazy monastery congregation, Saint Alphonsus Warren's quote, once he joined such a lax order, he will begin to act like the other's close quote in regards to studying for dioceses, the holy Dr of moral theology who was himself a Dawson in Bishop notes that quote, if a boy wants to become a Dawson priest, they confess you should not be quick to agree without a long and throw a test of the young man's upright motives of his knowledge of his capabilities. Dawson priests have the same and even greater obligations than religious have, and yet they must live surrounded by the dangers of the world. Consequently, to be good to us and priest, he must be careful to lead an exemplary life, cut off from the world's pleasures and from sinful man and given to prayer and frequently and sacraments. But who is this?
Speaker 0 29:23 And we shall praise him. He's making a play from the breviary. He's inferring is the sane. Without this, the Dawson priest will place himself in a state of almost certain damnation, close quotes in Alphonsus. The parallels are obvious. That's why I use that just as it's better for someone like me to remain and in the world than to go into lax congregation sauces better for someone with vocation of marriage to be single and lonely and saved than married to someone who will not help you get to heaven. We're in a battle royal to save our immortal souls, and if we join ourselves to the wrong congregation or you John Yourselves to the wrong spouse, the result may very well be eternal damnation. They very well find ourselves lost last for all eternity. No. All this, just a sketchy outline, a bare bones overview to give you young people with a vocation of marriage, some ideas of how to prepare yourself for this mission that God has chosen for you. Remember that Christian marriage is a call from God to a particular man and a particular woman to cooperate with him. It's a vocation like all vocations Christian marriage is a means. It's not an end. It's a means to end is eternal life. Your goal is to spend eternity together with your whole family, immersed the joyful presence of our Lord. So let's close with those beautiful thoughts written by Bishop taught some seven years ago. We've heard them before. They certainly bear repeating bishop Toth.
Speaker 1 31:04 Cool
Speaker 0 31:07 is a great joy for life. Can say to her husband, I can thank you that I have such strong support in life that I have such good children is a great joy. If a husband can say to his wife, I can thank you that I have such an understanding life companion in such a peaceful home, but the greatest joy of all will be. If someday they can say to each other, I can. Thank you. I have retained eternal life.
Speaker 1 31:40 Close quote,
Speaker 0 31:43 the greatest joy of all will be. If someday they can say to each other, I can thank you because I have obtained eternal life.
Speaker 1 31:50 Amen.
